the madness

when things drive you mad you hold on perhaps this is the last thing I will teach them last thing of what they really are and what their intelligence level is sometimes things have to go the way that you do not wish but it is always what you expected my last final hours may teach more that what I told them of what they really are sometimes it is the best sacrifices have to be made and if I am to be it let it be. let it consume me and they will see the truth of what they really are.

but my child my dear child I will never be there when you need me I am sorry I know one day you will curse me as I did to my parents I am well aware of that but it is something I have to do hope you will be well if by chance you found your gift leave this country forever because the curse that I am going to put on it even you will not escape.

every one has there part to play this is mine and I will play it well and if I am to bring their doom so be it. so I shall do what require of me.

if I had the ability to know what others think I would have marry years before I would have children that do O/L by now people hide me things and think I can find them out but how can I know some thing that they are hiding to me. some times I get a odd feeling but that is it. I can't tell what they know or what they wont.

I am not responsible for what they put on them they can not point finger at me because I will act according to my reasoning not what I felt so my distinctions will hurt them yes but I cant help it since I could not do any thing until I get a better understanding of the situation. but if they hide it from me I could not do any thing but to do what I must to service witch means end of many things.

I have a feeling that they are playing with me if it is right. if any of them told me the truth then I wold have marry one of them. I she has confronted me and told me how she feel I would has said yes but till now they are playing with me and I do what is necessary to service and makes me angry if any day they confront me. I will make them pay for what they did.

if I have known I would have got married years before that is some thing they never understand