From age of 14 when I begin to understand my life is a hell I began to pray to god “Dear god please end this life take this suffering out of me do not let me wake up next morning” I pray to him all my life but he never answer. Then I realize that there is no god. You are alone you have to fight your battles on your own even today I fight but grown old tired wait that one day my life will be ended and I will be free from all disappointment that is all I have.
Now I wish I will be out of this miserable world more than ever but I can die peacefully thinking that I have achieve something I my voice has gone to the ear of some people and if they ever make a change to a better future then I can die thinking that I have done what I came for. I always wonder why I was here why he kept me alive even I ask him to take this burden away from me. But I have done my part he should do his and take me from this world.
Death sweet Death I am tired need long rest if I only I could find the courage I world have end it years before but I never found that still never have. The pain it make us wiser it was the only thing that with me all the times I have begun to like it. It makes me strong my only friend only one that stay with me teach me many things life people all I understood them pain tech me a lot I never could Imagine how I ever will live without it
So much things learn it almost teach me that everything is an illusion people who tell you that they love you people who tell you that they care it is a lie even they do not know they have only one purpose without me they cannot survive so the keep telling me and try to stop me.
All a lie I may have done many stupid things but I’m that smart to understand it. None of them matter to me any more I know they left me behind when I need them. And they will do it again it is who they are I though at least one of them will understand me. But to my amusement none of them even have come to close of doing it.
It is a shame I live all alone but pain as my friend and death as my wish. People should do things when the time is write I’m too old for many things to love to play to earn my time almost has come that I should be religious and think of my next life. This is good since I do not have any intention of living as death come closer more in peace I will be
